Crack Pairidise
by BeyondMello1317
Summary: This is a series of many stories with crack pairings only. All of them are crazy crossovers, for I drew names out of a hat. They are fun and interesting though, so enjoy the ride! RATING M JUST IN CASE.
1. You're not Mello MattRoxas

Rain beat down on Roxas as he maneuvered through the crowded streets of Los Angeles. His hair had gotten longer and the rain was washing out all of the gel, straightening it out to it's full length. It hit just about at his shoulders. His black skinny jeans were becoming increasingly uncomfortable as they were dampened by the rain. The burn on half of his face started to sting from the water droplets. Him and Axel were sparring and Axel got a little out of hand. Roxas locked eyes with everyone who stared at the burn across half of his face. As he walked next to the main road a speeding car came up next to him and a boy with short red hair, and orange goggles rolled down the driver side window.

"Get in here, your dork!" he shouted.

Roxas didn't recognize the stranger, but he figured it might be Axel playing some dumb joke on him, so he got into the passenger's side of the front seat. Once he got inside the stranger looked straight at him and smiled. He was kinda cute.

"Where've you been, man? I've been looking everywhere for you!" the unfamiliar redhead said before leaning in to kiss Roxas.

Roxas didn't know how to respond, so he leaned in too. But once the stranger's lips touched his, he knew they weren't Axel's. He leapt from the kiss and stared at the strange man across from him.

"Aw, don't be a baby! I know I just finished a cigarette, but get over it!"

Roxas just stared. He didn't dare move an inch. The stranger then unexpectedly pushed him into the back seat and crawled on top of him.

"Look, I've got a lot of sexual tension I need to get out. I know you think this isn't classy, but I'm not classy," the stranger said.

Roxas watched as he unzipped and pulled off his vest. He also tore off his shirt and threw it in the front seat. The blonde nobody found it odd that he kept his goggles on, but not his clothing. Before he could be perplexed for too long, the redheads lips were being crushed against his. The stranger's tongue slipped into his mouth before he had time to protest and his hands were already working at pulling his shirt over his head.

The strange man finally pulled back to breathe and ripped his shirt off. Roxas needed to say something, and fast, or else he'd end up majorly cheating on Axel.

"I'm Roxas!" he cried in desperation.

"Huh?" the stranger asked.

"My name is Roxas," the blonde explained, "Who are you?"

"I'm Matt, and…you're not Mello," he discovered after pulling up his goggles.

"Yeah…can I have my shirt back?" Roxas asked.

"Uh…sure," Matt agreed, handing him his t-shirt, and climbing back into the front seat.

"I'm gonna go now," Roxas told him.

"Good idea. I'll…uh…see ya around…" Matt said while putting on his shirt and vest.

Roxas climbed out of the car and slammed the door. Just as he made it back to the sidewalk, the car sped away. He began walking again before he heard someone running towards him from behind. He turned around to see his own redhead coming closer.

"Roxie!" Axel yelled, throwing his arms around his blonde lover.

He pulled back from the hug and kissed him passionately. His tongue slithered into his mouth, but soon retreated and he pulled back from his boyfriend.

"Hey, Roxas," Axel began, "why do you taste like cigarettes?"

"It's a long story," Roxas laughed as they walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand, in the pouring rain.


	2. Candy Shop LxMarth

"I wanna be useful too boss!" Matsuda announced.

"Hey Matsuda?" L asked.

"Yeah?!" he replied with excitement.

"Could you carry me to the candy store?" he asked him.

~*~*~*~*~TEN MINUTES LATER~*~*~*~*~

Matsuda walked down the sidewalk, carrying L bridal style. Everyone who walked by stared and whispered about the pair. As they neared the candy store, Matsuda set down the detective on the sidewalk.

"Hey…I'm gonna go to the bookstore next door. Okay?" he asked.

"Mmhmm. Go ahead," L told him, walking toward the candy store.

As L opened the door and headed into the candy store, Matsuda ran into the shop next door to escape for a moment.

L walked into the heaven he had always dreamed of. The walls were lined with shelves upon shelves of candies in all shapes, colours, and textures. He headed for the counter and rang the silver bell. He was amused with the ding it made so he continued to hit the bell until a slender hand stopped his. He looked up to see an adorable young boy with navy blue hair behind the counter.

"Can I help you find anything?" he asked.

"I think you're very attractive," L told him.

"Uh…thanks?" the boy replied awkwardly.

"I'm L," the detective said, offering his hand.

The boy took his hand and shook it, "I'm Marth."

The boy jumped back as L used his hand as a support to climb onto the countertop. He sat down, hanging his legs over the opposite side of the counter.

"What are you doing?! You need to get down!" Marth cried.

"Alright," L said as he jumped behind the counter with Marth.

L grabbed his hand and led the boy into the back storage room. Marth struggled against his grip until he had made it into the storage room. L trapped the navy haired beauty between himself and a shelf full of bags of candy. He crashed his lips against the young boy's and Marth gave in to the mysterious customer. He wrapped his arms around the older boy and pulled him closer to him. L parted his lips and the boy followed, allowing L's tongue to explore his mouth. Marth moaned into the kiss and slipped his hands up the strange man's shirt. L suddenly pulled away from the kiss and Marth took his arms from him.

"Something wrong?" he asked the detective.

"Matsuda's back. I have to go," he told him.

Marth nodded and walked out of the room to behind the counter again.

"Can I help you find something?" he asked.

"Uh…yeah. A young man in a white shirt and blue jeans with messy black hair and a back problem," Matsuda told him.

"I think he left for next door to get you, but I'll look around here," Marth said.

"Alright," Matsuda sighed as he walked out of the store.

Marth ran over to the door and opened it a little and whispered, "Get out here!"

L ran from the back room and hopped back over the counter. He began heading for the door when a hand pulled on the back of his shirt. He turned around and Marth handed him a piece of folded paper.

"Call me," he told him, smiling.

L took the paper and shrugged, sticking it in his pocket, "Okay."

Marth nodded and jumped over the counter as Matsuda came back into the shop.

"There you are!" he cried as he grabbed L.

"Let's go back now," L commanded.

"Do I have to carry you again?" Matsuda whined.

"Yes. Let's get going, Matsuda," L replied, opening his arms for Matsuda to pick him up.

Matsuda sighed and picked up the strange man and walked out of the shop. As they left, Marth used his reflection in the glass countertop to fix his hair. Just as he finished, his boyfriend walked into the shop and up to the counter.

"Hey, cutie," Roy said as he leaned over the counter to kiss Marth.

"Hi," Marth said just before his lips touched Roy's briefly.

"Geez, did you eat some of the candy or something? You taste so sweet!" Roy laughed.

"I just couldn't help myself," Marth shrugged.

"It's only your first day!" Roy joked, kissing his boyfriend again, "Well, I gotta get going. I only had time to stop in to say hi."

"I'll see you later, darling," Marth said as Ike left the store.

"Love ya!" Roy shouted as he left the store.

Marth sighed and took out his cell phone. He flipped it open and began to text Ike.

"He already visited today. Come on over," he texted.

Ten minutes later the blue-haired boy came through the door and hopped over the counter. Both boys ran into the back closet.


End file.
